Friday, January 22, 2010

Surgery Recap

Final Score

New ACL: 1
Meniscus: -1/3*


Dr. Metallica Bourdain has great beside manner. He also smells good, which is probably more than can be said for either James Hetfield or Mr. Bourdain.

There was no dulce de leche to be had! What a travesty.

All that kissing that goes on here in Argentina? Even happens in the OR! Like, all the assistants and the anaesthesiologist greeted me with a kiss before they knocked me out.

Epidurals are where it's at.

I had surgery in a hospital run by monks! Yesterday before the operation a very adorable (and small) priest came into my room and said a little prayer. Today we saw many small and adorable nuns roaming the halls, wearing all-white habits with a big red cross on the front. Of course I was not-so-secretly hoping that they would break into song (I've only seen "The Sound of Music" about 200 times). It didn't happen, so I thought I'd get them started with a few lyrics.

Knee Surgery Songs for the Sisters of ClĂ­nica San Camila in Buenos Aires

How Do Fix a Tear in the Meniscus?
(to the tune of "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?")

How do you fix a tear in the meniscus?
How do you reconstruct an ACL?
How do you get a girl who's very active
to relax for a while
so that she can heal
and walk?

(to the tune of "Edelweiss")

You were torn so we fixed you

Made anew
With a screw
And a graft from patella

New ligament won't you stabilize

You were torn so we fixed you

* I am actually in possession of the removed meniscus. I know, gross! But the good doctor seemed excited to give it to us, in its little vial of fluid (grosser!). Do you think I could sell it on etsy? I mean, technically I made it, right?


Lindsay said...

Oh, that sounds like the most FUN surgery! ha ha.

Glad it went are you feeling now?

Marc said...

I think regretsy might be a bit more appropriate.

kajal said...

while this surely sucks, i really think it's SO AWESOME that you recovered in a nunnery and have your body part as a souvenir. nice songs :-). i'll think of them as i go on the sound of music tour in salzburg next month!

kfinnefrock said...

I'm impressed by the song lyrics! Good drugs or just innate creativity? ;)

CurlyV said...

This is the most poetic post-op description I have ever read. I can hardly believe it's true! Hope you are continuing to heal! You rock! But then, so does your surgeon!