Friday, December 08, 2006

Love Letter to the United States Postal Service

Dear USPS,

You don't mind if I call you that, right? USPS? It just kind of rolls off the fingertips.

Lately I've been thinking about our experiences together over the years. We had that long-distance relationship for a while, you know, when I didn't really talk to you directly. Despite me having to use someone else to communicate, you always came through for me. In 1998, you really helped me make the decision to move to the United States, with your promises of self-adhesive postage stamps and Saturday mail (both of which I love to this day, USPS. Thanks for those).

Lately, I've really enjoyed our electronic communications. The way you let me calculate postage, and even print shipping labels, without even having to visit you in person - those little things mean a lot to me. In fact, the other day when I needed to send something to my friend in Canada, you even sent me - for free! - the stickers I needed to properly label the package. That was really nice of you, USPS, and I appreciate it. I'm grateful that you continue to improve yourself - it makes me want to give you extra-nice stuff.

I also want to express just how happy I am whenever I receive something from you. I think about you a lot, and whenever I get email from our receptionist to let me know that I have a package at the front desk, my heart smiles in the knowledge that you're thinking about me too.

There is one little thing I was wondering about. Sometimes you seem a little distant, and after I see you in person I feel weighted down, and like the walk home is really far. And sometimes you're just not accessible to me when I need to see you. Now, I'm not asking for you to be available to me 24/7, because I know that wouldn't be healthy for you. But maybe sometimes, especially during the holidays, you could keep the doors of communication open just a little bit longer. That would really help me to feel more secure in our relationship.

Well, that's about it. I just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know how important you are to me. I know this is a really busy time of year for you, and I'm thinking about you, USPS, and I'm looking forward to our extra communications this holiday season. I have all the faith in the world that you can make it through to January, so hang in there!



Sarah said...

So near, and yet so far away. Very entertaining post!

Lisa said...

hey, Canada's no cave man! we have self adhesive stamps now too!

Becca & Brian said...
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Becca & Brian said...

Heh, funny. Yet sorta weird. You don't meet too many Americans who are in love with the PO. Quite the opposite, actually.

Although, Brian has observed and marveled to me more than once how ridiculously cheap it is to send a tangible letter right to its recipient's door anywhere in the entire country. He's right, $.39 for that kind of messenger service is really quite remarkable. It's odd how people used to bitch so much when it would go up a couple of pennies.